Jay asked:

My wife's father is marrying his girlfriend. They are both baptized Catholics and they are both divorced with no annulment. Should we attend this wedding and let our daughter be their flower girl?

Fr. John Trigilio replied:

"The problem is on the one hand when you've got and immediate family member like that, it's your wife's father, if you boycott it completely some people tell me there's very good grounds that they're not gonna, knowing the situation knowing the personalities they sell, 'well father if we don't go they're not gonna talk to us ever again.' I tell people you're not allowed to give support to it, you're attendance would lend people to think you're approving of it. But if you do go you gotta make it known that you're going under duress. I caution people if you do go I would not go to the reception. I would not give them a gift ... not dress up in any tuxedo or anything like that. Then explain to them why. You love them very much but this is in conflict with your religious values and principles and against the teachings of your Church.

That being said if you don't go at all that would be one option which is usually the preferred one.... If you just go and don't tell anybody and just say well internally I disagree, you're going to scandalize somebody whose going to say they're good Catholics, they went, this must be kosher ..."


Catholic Answers, "Open Forum" (San Diego: Catholic Answers, 2014)

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Show air date: February 13, 2014

Name of show: Open Forum

Guest comments by: Fr. John Trigilio

Question appeared in show: 1:41

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